


[unsaid feelings that i won't forget]

by basedizu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Insecurity, Lowercase, M/M, Mutual Pining, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Youtuber AU, smut sprinkled in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:06:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basedizu/pseuds/basedizu
Summary: he lets naruto hold the gun to his head. he lets naruto taunt him and threaten him with sweet words and caresses because no matter how bad it is for him in the long run, he loves it. he loves it, and he loves naruto.[the one where sasuke is insecure about his feelings for naruto.]
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





	[unsaid feelings that i won't forget]

**Author's Note:**

> i had written this for another fandom but then i said fuck it, let's make it naruto, baby.
> 
> [title from: tongue tied - free throw]

naruto wrings sasuke like he's an over-saturated rag. sasuke can't get enough of this shit, it's like a fucking drug to him. and that's sad. that's real fuckin' sad when he thinks about it. but sasuke couldn't have this any other way. because if was another way, he'd actually have to face the truth. that naruto doesn't really like him like that. that naruto uses sasuke because sasuke has no goddamn backbone. sasuke's like a wet noodle, he's like clay in naruto's hands. naruto pulls him apart, he builds him into something new. (something that sasuke likes. he likes it way too much.) whenever they're underneath the sheets, sasuke _is_ naruto's canvas. sasuke is rose and naruto is jack. their situation is the titanic, and they will crash. they will drown. they will both die with this, because it's a secret.

sasuke doesn't tell anyone he's getting fucked by naruto. he doesn't speak a word on it and he _knows_ naruto's being silent about it, too. naruto would never. naruto's straight. he loves pussy and the whole world knows it. sasuke gets an ache in his chest, though. it claws up from there to his throat, and then it bothers his eyes because he wants to cry when he thinks about it sometimes. the burn makes him sad, but more than anything it makes him angry. he wants to yell at naruto, he wants to yell at _himself._ he knows he's a project for naruto, and he could stop it at anytime. naruto isn't holding him against his will. he could tell naruto to go fuck himself and leave slamming the door. but he doesn't.

he lets naruto hold the gun to his head. he lets naruto taunt him and threaten him with sweet words and caresses because no matter how bad it is for him in the long run, he loves it. he loves it, and _he loves naruto._ sasuke can't say when it changed from infatuation to love. at his job, in his home, out with friends, sasuke always thought about naruto. it was even worse because they have the same friends. shikamaru would tell a funny joke naruto had said a few days ago and damn. his feelings would squeeze his heart so hard he thought he could die from it. a laugh would come out of his mouth, but it'd be like he was watching himself. like he was in a movie. the laugh wasn't real. sasuke hopes none of his friends notice. 

sometimes he wonders what naruto feels. he wonders if naruto feels like he does. but then they don't talk for a solid week, and when they do naruto has him bent over and he's screaming. he's screaming and tears are running down his cheeks because it feels _too fucking good._ it feels so good and sasuke has never been able to shut up, really. he tells naruto this. naruto chuckles darkly in his ear and it makes sasuke shiver. naruto knows every tick of sasuke's. he can have him in a puddle in seconds. sasuke's angry at himself that naruto knows this. that naruto knows how to get him to do anything.

naruto doesn't make him do the worst though. he does make him lay on his back and spread his legs open though while he slides home. yeah, he slides home and sasuke can't even deny it anymore. his ass is naruto's and he feels real ashamed about it. naruto knows his body better than he does. a traitorous part of him loves that naruto knows that. naruto makes sure he's shaking from over-stimulation by the time he's done. naruto takes care of him. naruto kisses him and sasuke can taste the _passion._ naruto's a passionate lover. its when shit like this happens that sasuke knows naruto isn't looking at him the same. how could he? by the time he wakes up, naruto's always gone. always.

but could he really be that surprised? naruto's so casual anytime they hang out aside from naruto fucking sasuke into a new person. naruto says things like _what's up, dude? look at this chick, isn't she hot?_ and sasuke wants to fucking slap the phone out of naruto's hand so that it hits the floor and cracks. he wants to start a fight. maybe then naruto will fucking get it. but he doesn't do that, instead he nods and sets out on ordering food. the times when they hang out without sex are a little nerve wracking for sasuke. they have great chemistry though, it's why their youtube account is doing really well. sasuke can't fucking believe he went into a (more or less) business with naruto on occasions. it was something they did when their relationship was strictly just friends. before sasuke had drunkenly kissed naruto and naruto pushed him off and told him to come to him sober. (sasuke came to him sober the next day. naruto fingered sasuke for the second time in his life.) sasuke regrets that day a lot. but back on track: youtube was just supposed to be fun. they didn't think it would take off like it did. they both still had jobs (they couldn't afford to quit unless this _really took off)_ , but they set aside enough time to make videos. 

sasuke hoped their fanbase couldn't tell the slight apprehension he has with making videos now. that'd be fucking embarrassing. when he thinks about how their shit could really grow and be bigger than themselves, he knows he can't tell naruto to get the fuck out of his face. he can't tell him to piss off and never talk to him again. he has to swallow the bitter pill of bad decisions and keep this up. sasuke's always felt like he's fucked shit up in one way or another, and he'd feel awful if he messed this up by cutting naruto off.

naruto pitches the idea of a podcast, and even though sasuke wants to throw up (it's getting harder being around him), he agrees. aside from his disastrous feelings, a podcast is an amazing idea for them. they name it _chakra bros_ , based off a joke. the feedback is so positive sasuke can't believe it. sasuke likes praise. he likes positive reinforcement a lot. naruto knows this. they go party with some friends off the high of success, and naruto gets sasuke into a bathroom. he tells him _you did so great baby boy, yeah, so good for me_ and sasuke's gone. his eyes glaze over and he lets naruto take control. it feels freeing letting naruto take control (even though the rational part of him hates it so, so much). sasuke feels himself tearing up, and naruto is two fingers knuckle deep in his ass by this time. naruto must think it's because it's too much for sasuke's sensitive self, so he takes his thumb and wipes them off. he kisses behind sasuke's ear and a sob is ripped from sasuke's throat. it must sound awful because naruto pulls his fingers out of sasuke. sasuke gasps a little at the loss. naruto asks him _what's wrong, whats wrong_ and sasuke pushes him off. he doesn't answer him. he just hurridly pulls up his underwear and pants and shuts the door in naruto's face.

sasuke can't fucking answer that. spilling his guts to naruto would be like...it would be like diving into the deep end of a pool as a kid. that shit seems endless. you think you're gonna die doing that. sasuke _will not_ let naruto murder him like this. he's had the power to stop it all this time, and he's using it. he's unlocking something he's scared of. because he can't imagine a world without naruto, but he can't be around him now. sasuke calls up an uber, and when it pulls up, naruto's coming out of the house. he hears the shout, the _sasuke!_ but he turns around, and steps into the car. sasuke says _take me home._ and when he gets home, he comes from three fingers in his ass because naruto has magic fingers or something and it usually only takes two of his. they don't speak for two weeks, and their fanbase is worried. sasuke quit his job during this time and started putting in more effort streaming. of course he got questions about him and naruto, but he brushes them off, tells the people they'll be back better than ever. tells them that things are just hard right now. (it's a cop-out excuse and he knows it, but it's all he has.)

you can imagine how that goes. discourse is on twitter, and sasuke's surprised people care enough to even speak on them like that. naruto texts him, but he doesn't answer. he does get a knock on his door the next day, and he doesn't look through the peephole. had he done that, he wouldn't have even opened the door. naruto's on the other side, and he storms in before sasuke can even process it.

 _what the fuck are you doing man!_ naruto's mad. sasuke doesn't know what to tell him, so he just settles for _i'm living._ naruto scoffs and runs his hand down his face. sasuke looks at him, like, _really looks._ naruto cut his hair. it's growing back fast, but he cut his hair. he has facial hair though, more than sasuke knows naruto's comfortable with. 

_your hair._ naruto gives a cold laugh. hits him with that _you're fucking up our shit, and all you can talk about is my hair?_ sasuke shrugs his shoulders. he can't let naruto know the truth. sasuke'll go to his damn grave with this. 

_i think you should leave._ sasuke practically forces it out of his throat. because he wants nothing more than for naruto to stay and wrap him in his arms. sasuke's definitely on the verge of tears at this point.

 _tell me what the hell is going on!_ it's a tone naruto reserves for when he's been pushed past his limits. sasuke never thought naruto would use that tone on him. it makes him feel worse and his face scrunches up. naruto gives sasuke a soft look and sighs. _tell me what's wrong dude._

_i'm in love with you!_

and oh. 

_oh shit._

sasuke said it. he fucking said it and he can't believe he's said it. he can't believe he _actually_ said it out loud. naruto wasn't supposed to know. he was _never ever_ supposed to know. and sasuke tells him this but naruto just shakes his head and puts his hands on his hips.

 _this is my fault too because i let it drag on too long. i left after every time because i thought i was saving you and i from pain. i just didn't know if you'd love me back._ it's a confession and it rocks sasuke's world. sasuke swears his heart skips a beat. he quits crying, quits scrunching his face out of an ugly ass look and lifts his head to meet naruto's eyes. and in his eyes sasuke only sees adoration. sasuke only sees _love._

 _you...you love me? you, naruto uzumaki, destroys so much pussy, gets so many girls...loves me?_ and naruto rolls his eyes, gives a little smirk (a goddamn beautiful smirk) while nodding his head.

 _you self-depricate way too much. i only said shit around you because i didn't want to make a casual thing into something more. didn't know if you wanted it as much as i did._ sasuke laughs loud. (how foolish could he be? doesn't he know sasuke would die for him?)

 _god naruto. we're both a pair of fucking idiots, huh?_ and they were. but that's okay because sasuke walks into naruto's arms and the hug is so warm. the hug is so _perfect._ it's everything sasuke could have wanted and more. naruto places a kiss on sasuke's forehead and he knows they're going to be okay. naruto and sasuke have the sweetest sex they've ever had night. sasuke blooms for naruto like a flower. sasuke's the flower and naruto's the sun. naruto gives sasuke exactly what he needs to be okay. and sasuke shines pretty for naruto. he's so pretty as he claws down naruto's back. naruto growls in his ear because it must hurt, but he takes what sasuke gives him.

naruto only speeds up right before it's the end. they rock the bed like waves in the ocean. sasuke breathes out a small _naruto,_ and then he's seeing the universe behind his eyelids. he sees galaxies, he sees stars, and funny how it all comes together to create naruto. naruto whispers sweet nothings in his ear. it's all static to sasuke, but he knows naruto's telling him how much he's worth, how much he means to him.

sasuke can't remember going to sleep, and he fleetingly thinks that naruto's left him yet again. but when he turns to get up, his nose brushes against skin. skin that isn't his. sasuke blinks and he realizes the mass that's curled next to him is still sleeping, breathing evenly. tan skin shines with the morning sun and sasuke beams.

he squeezes tight. _and he gets a squeeze back._

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @sephzfir (come yell at me!)


End file.
